Bonner's Journal-day 42. Wait means anticipate

 Sat 25. Day 42. 

These weekends without Hannah have been a new challenge.

Even though I am not with Hannah in body, I am one with her in spirit. 

Another day of waiting. 

My Understanding of the concept of waiting is not just a worthless killing of time in some passive mental state of mind. Waiting is the same as HOPE. Waiting has great anticipation. Because our current waiting is on God, and not on what He can do for us, it is whole and complete.

I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I

                hope. (Psalm 130:5 AMP)

Bonner's Journal-Day 41. Noodle arms?

Fri 24. Day 41. 32 days in rehab. 8 days of fasting. 

Today the doctor told Hannah "when I first saw your lack of arm strength, they were like noodles, and I was really scared. But now I see how much progress you have made and I am amazed. Whatever you  have been doing keep doing it."

Hannah had a really tough morning. She almost fell off the bed, had to call for several nurses to run into her room, and realized the dangers of her current spasticity. This resulted in a enduring battle within her mind and emotions for most of the evening.

HOWEVER, she has reported that she "started a new beginning today". She said that something was different in her body today when walking. The PT took her outside for the first time, she walked unassisted with her walker, and she felt for the first time that she was doing the walking and not just her body going through the motions! Hallelujah !

Bonner's Journal-Day 40. A week of fasting

Thurs 23. Day 40. 31 days of rehab. 7th day of my fast.

Over the past month of rehab I have seen numerous patients come into this rehabilitation facility... and then leave. My heart has ached for their pain and suffering as I have watched them struggle to regain their lives back, just like Hannah. I have observed their fight , and have been silently  engaged as their cheerleader ...at moments I've been absolutely filled with compassion.

What would be a normally frustrating fact , that we are not yet seeing full healing as we expect each morning, has been a hidden blessing. We haven't gone home  yet, but so many around us have....it has played games in my mind. 

Patience Bonner ! Let patience have its perfect work, so that I may be complete, lacking nothing.

This "live in" therapy is a grind, but a necessity for her future wellness. Intensive training , all day, 6 days a week. God is obviously  on a different timeline. He is Lord of the harvest.

Bonner's Journal-Day 39. Father son time

February 22- Day 39

 

Today I did something as a dad that I have never done, I took one of our children on a field trip. 

What an amazing lesson to learn, that God ALWAYS turns a rough situation into a Blessing lesson...if our hearts are truly open for any guidance, correction, and changes He might bring.

In a matter of one night I have gone from football coach to field trip dad. 

In the blink of an eye I went from managing 300 students and 150 athletes to managing laundry, meals and the continuity of my family full time.

Wow!

Isn't Life a challenge? And we better be ready to adjust, and do that without stress, worry or frustration.

 This attack on my wife's life has provided many opportunities for God's hand to work, one of them is providing Bodee and I quality father son time.

I realize that many people miss the truth about God. It is sad that many believe a foolish doctrine. They are deceived to believe that a God who is good, and enjoys extravagant riches and health in heaven...would take everything away from you and  make you sick, to teach you something about who He is. 

This is nonsense.

 No wonder why people don't want to serve our God! I wouldn't either if I thought that were true.

No, God is good and the devil is bad. It is so simple even my 8 year old son can understand what happens to us in this life. See John 10:10

Bonner's Journal-Day 38. A Writer's gift

February 21- Day 38. 

Yesterday was a day of Patience.

I have also submitted to the new ministry opportunity that my wife has asked of me. She has asked me to Journal her story and then publish them in a Blog. She has demanded that it be told. No matter how humiliating the reality, she wants me to record the lessons that God is teaching us- for others.

I remember  several years ago when the prophet Larry Huggins prayed for me to receive the gift of writing, ultimately for the kingdom of God. Here I am today, facing the opportunity to use my family's horrible challenge as a method for telling the goodness of God. The words of the prophet Huggins were correct! I hope that our life, and the pages of this online journal, can bring someone closer to the God who loves them.

This makes me ponder the purpose of blessings and prosperity. God does not heal, provide prosperity, or give greater insight for the sole purpose of making us comfortable. 

He is not against our being comfortable, but He increases us with these blessings so that we will increase the distribution of His promises and the advancement of His kingdom. More service is always the reason for promotion. If you won't use it for His purposes, He will never give you more. Are you in need of a promotion? Then you had better take a long hard look at every area of your life...and see if you have been truly faithful. Use it or lose it. 

So I am currently thinking PRODUCTION. If I was truly gifted with the ability to write for Jesus, then its time to produce.

The bible asks a stunning statement: "who can find a faithful man?" This implies that being faithful with what you are given is a rare thing with man kind.

Am I really faithful with the gifts and talents that He has given me?

looks like I am a bit excited

Bonner's Journal-Day 37. I am starving!

February 20th. Day 37.

I personally feel the same gravity that I see the children display. Our lives are in an odd state of flux, and we are desperate for the Lord to reveal Himself .To spend time with the Holy One, I woke and went for a jog as the sun came up.


Today is 4th day that I have refused all food...and I am starving!
But what needs to be made clear is that I am starving for God's presence. I am hungry for Him to be made more real to me. The hunger that my physical body is experiencing pales in comparison to my hunger for God's love. I have had it MANY times before, and I need it now more than ever.


You might ask, "Is it possible to FEEL God?"
Yes, we can learn by experience that "in His presence is fullness of joy."


The Christian has the ability to have a continual experience with God's person. I can report that this experience is more real than talking with someone face to face. The depth of joy and love that is felt cannot be matched anywhere else in this world. I know, I've tried.


 just like David said...

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. (Psalm 42:1, 2, 11 KJV)

Bonner's Journal-Day 36. One month from fusion

February 19- Day 36.

It has been one month from the fusion surgery.

We have spent 27 days in this rehabilitation center. I would never imagine that my wife wouldn't come home that night of the accident...for a month!

This is the  3rd day of my fast.

I realize that we are officially in the receiving mode. God is greatly concerned with every detail of our life, and so we completely rest in Him and take what He is offering. We grab hold of His new offer for us. We say "yes" to this new journey and where it leads.

Full peace.

Humility ends all striving, when focused on Him. We ARE healed...in heart, mind and emotions. Full resurrection in our marriage and family. We give Him full permission to do anything He desires with us.

 Today was the most difficult visit that the kids have had yet

When the kids are away from their mother they have the ability to become engrossed in their daily life, which is good for them. However, when they see their mother at the hospital (usually on a Sunday) they are reminded of what they cannot have, and they act out. It tears my heart apart to see such pain in my family, but I know that we will be made so much stronger from this ordeal.