Bonner's Journal-Day 38. A Writer's gift

February 21- Day 38. 

Yesterday was a day of Patience.

I have also submitted to the new ministry opportunity that my wife has asked of me. She has asked me to Journal her story and then publish them in a Blog. She has demanded that it be told. No matter how humiliating the reality, she wants me to record the lessons that God is teaching us- for others.

I remember  several years ago when the prophet Larry Huggins prayed for me to receive the gift of writing, ultimately for the kingdom of God. Here I am today, facing the opportunity to use my family's horrible challenge as a method for telling the goodness of God. The words of the prophet Huggins were correct! I hope that our life, and the pages of this online journal, can bring someone closer to the God who loves them.

This makes me ponder the purpose of blessings and prosperity. God does not heal, provide prosperity, or give greater insight for the sole purpose of making us comfortable. 

He is not against our being comfortable, but He increases us with these blessings so that we will increase the distribution of His promises and the advancement of His kingdom. More service is always the reason for promotion. If you won't use it for His purposes, He will never give you more. Are you in need of a promotion? Then you had better take a long hard look at every area of your life...and see if you have been truly faithful. Use it or lose it. 

So I am currently thinking PRODUCTION. If I was truly gifted with the ability to write for Jesus, then its time to produce.

The bible asks a stunning statement: "who can find a faithful man?" This implies that being faithful with what you are given is a rare thing with man kind.

Am I really faithful with the gifts and talents that He has given me?

looks like I am a bit excited

Bonner's Journal-Day 37. I am starving!

February 20th. Day 37.

I personally feel the same gravity that I see the children display. Our lives are in an odd state of flux, and we are desperate for the Lord to reveal Himself .To spend time with the Holy One, I woke and went for a jog as the sun came up.


Today is 4th day that I have refused all food...and I am starving!
But what needs to be made clear is that I am starving for God's presence. I am hungry for Him to be made more real to me. The hunger that my physical body is experiencing pales in comparison to my hunger for God's love. I have had it MANY times before, and I need it now more than ever.


You might ask, "Is it possible to FEEL God?"
Yes, we can learn by experience that "in His presence is fullness of joy."


The Christian has the ability to have a continual experience with God's person. I can report that this experience is more real than talking with someone face to face. The depth of joy and love that is felt cannot be matched anywhere else in this world. I know, I've tried.


 just like David said...

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. (Psalm 42:1, 2, 11 KJV)

Bonner's Journal-Day 36. One month from fusion

February 19- Day 36.

It has been one month from the fusion surgery.

We have spent 27 days in this rehabilitation center. I would never imagine that my wife wouldn't come home that night of the accident...for a month!

This is the  3rd day of my fast.

I realize that we are officially in the receiving mode. God is greatly concerned with every detail of our life, and so we completely rest in Him and take what He is offering. We grab hold of His new offer for us. We say "yes" to this new journey and where it leads.

Full peace.

Humility ends all striving, when focused on Him. We ARE healed...in heart, mind and emotions. Full resurrection in our marriage and family. We give Him full permission to do anything He desires with us.

 Today was the most difficult visit that the kids have had yet

When the kids are away from their mother they have the ability to become engrossed in their daily life, which is good for them. However, when they see their mother at the hospital (usually on a Sunday) they are reminded of what they cannot have, and they act out. It tears my heart apart to see such pain in my family, but I know that we will be made so much stronger from this ordeal.

Bonner's Journal-Day 35. Planning our new life

February 18. Day 35

Today is the 2nd day of my fast. 
I am feeling strong and focused on the call of God on our marriage, children and upcoming ministry. Fighting hunger has prepared my heart for anything that God may want to do with us. 

God asked  "Whom shall I send?"... Isaiah said, "Here I am, send me!"

I say the same. 

I want to be used by Him. I want to be useful to my King. I willingly sacrifice ALL for your purposes, Lord.
 
We spent this entire Saturday planning and bringing order to our home. My aunt, our Nanni, the kids and I discussed over the course of seven hours, every aspect of our home life and how we are going to follow the spirit of wisdom and organization. God is clearly trimming our family back and building our lives on His solid foundation. We are seeing the beginnings of order.

What great thing does He have in store for us? How different is our future walk with Him, that He would completely restart our entire life? 

All involved intimately with our journey can see the hand of God on this new beginning.

Bonner's Journal-Day 34. The fast begins

February 17. Day 34

 Learning to walk all over again

God has pressed the restart button on our lives. 

New Beginnings is upon us. 

Plow deeply Lord! Tear up that which is hardened against you.

Today I began a 21 day liquid fast for Hannah, for our family and for the call of God on our lives. 
Jesus said, "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled."

I am one of those He is describing. This passage is describing where Bonner Cunnings is in his life right now. I am HUNGRY for God's plan. I THIRST for His way of living. I desire His correction, teaching and equipping more than food!
 
The kids also began a fast today for Hannah. I am amazed at the maturity level of my young family. I have never heard of children who would skip meals so that they could press God for their needs. I am so proud of them. They are learning to be conquerors.
I am fasting from food because I need to know the right way to go with our life. We came too close to death for me to just shrug this off. I have had my reality check.

I cannot be confused about the future choices that lie ahead.



I am refusing all food, seeking God's face and trusting that He is guiding me. Because fasting is something that Jesus said to do, I know that I am correct in using this form of concentration to clearly see the direction for my family. 

The children and I prayed a prayer of agreement (Matthew 18:19) that she will have gained everything she needs in her soul from the Lord, she will have gained everything she needs in her body from therapy, and be released in time to be at our churches yearly camp meeting.

Her therapy today presented a challenge, that proved to shake her to the core of her soul. The simple task of  stepping onto a small box was overwhelming, causing her to break down with weeping. I got a small glimpse of how much of a test this entire journey is on her mind, will and emotions.

Oh God, have your glory in my wife! Strengthen her for the battle you have assigned to her in the future.

Bonner's Journal-Day 33. Fancy Braid

February 16. Day 33 

 No matter how miserable the neck brace is, Hannah is still smiling

33 days in the hospital, 24 days of rehab. Our life is truly starting over from scratch.

Patience with Gods perfect timing of things, and full effort with what we find in our power to do. Soften our heart to receive what you are desiring to plant, Lord!

I am truly amazed at the medical &therapy staff and their knowledge of how the body works. Their ability to accurately diagnose what Hannah's body is doing and assign accurate movements that rehabilitate each and every muscle group is phenomenal. I am increasing in my knowledge of the body each day. I can see how this field is at the other end of the spectrum of what I do with athletes.
How magnificent is Gods intricate creation! Such wisdom in the field of healing!

I am constantly hearing the OT/PT report how Hannah is capable of doing more than the day before, which is a good sign that her therapy is effective and still needed. The doctor even said that her progress is as if she is going up stairs multiple steps/accomplishments at a time. 

Exponential progress is the result of Hannah's unswerving effort and complete hope in God. 

I tried to get credit for braiding her hair, but none of the nurses were fooled

Bonner's Journal-Day 32. God is NOT in control

February15. Day 32

Thank you Lord for making repairs on our life...Physical repairs, Mental repairs and repairs to our relationships. Repairs that are necessary for survival.

As it is with so many people, the enemy has taken illegal residence in our life. He has cleverly worked his way into the way we think, the way we talk, the habits we have, the decisions we make...so that we cannot defend ourselves against his attacks on our own, without the help of God.
I hate the devil so much, because he is so good at destroying lives. Just look at the amount of evil, perversion and injustice that has filled our world. It is so obvious that there is something terribly wrong! We have an enemy. Whether you see him or not is the clincher.

"God is in control"...people say.  But that statement is not completely true. God is NOT in control over all things on this earth and the things that are happening here. If He were in control He is doing a lousy job! NO, people are in control of their life, and they make decisions every day that ruin their life and many others! They are deceived, trapped and blinded into life destroying decisions...by their invisible enemy, Satan.

God has delegated dominion and authority on earth to humans...He is not a thief, He is not going to take back what He has given to us. He has given us all the ammunition we need to overcome everything that this horrible world could throw at us... in His simple little book. Every single answer is there for every person on earth to have total victory.

Why don't you read it?

God is not some puppet master in the sky who decided to smash Hannah head on in a car wreck to teach her a lesson. He was not in control of that car...however He DOES get involved when we ask Him! Because we invited Him into our life, He was involved in protecting Hannah...in protecting my marriage...in protecting my children's future...in protecting our impact on this world.

He can only help those who invite Him. He can only assist those who ask for it. He is a gentlemen...He doesn't barge His way into your life. He must be asked. Isn't that what you would want? Don't you want people to invite you into their friendship?

In Matthew 6:9-10 Jesus tells us what we should expect here on earth. He tells us to EXPECT HEAVEN ON EARTH. What does heaven look like? Do people go paralyzed? Do people have trouble walking? Are people in pain? Are people sad and depressed?
No, they are not...and we shouldn't be either. We are to pray that our lives on earth will mimic what it looks like in heaven!

I want to live in His heavenly will, right now. So I give God control. He has permission to take full control over the Cunning's life. I relinquish all control, and hand it over to Him. I am learning the hard way that I cannot control my life.

Are you smart enough to relinquish control?