Bonner's Journal-Day 23. Debridement

February 6, Day 23


Oh God, prune us back to the very foundation. 
Cut off the dead wood. While we are at it, just surgically remove all the rotten contaminated tissue. Debridement.

Please repair this place that you have chosen to live in...US!
How shameful it is, for me to say that God lives in me...that He has chosen to abide in my person...that He goes everywhere with me...and I do not treat Him with the respect that He deserves. 

The Holy Ghost is a gentlemen. He is not a bully. He does not force his way into peoples lives...but He whispers ever so quietly, but consistently. Why do so many of us ignore Him? He is always speaking to everyone all the time...yet so few people listen. He is trying to make our lives better, yet we want to do it our way...and ignore our conscience. It is that easy. Listen to your heart. It will lead to a Loving Father every time. 

But that stupid mind of ours needs to be reprogrammed. Too many foolish people, too many degraded television commercials, too much pride and arrogance, etc etc. Pride is the worst of all.


So I say it again. God please kill me. I desire to be like your Son. I despise everything in me that is not of you. I am a fool. I am lost. I can do nothing without you. Hear my pleas for help. I keep my focus on your good words. I will not take my attention off of you. You are my only help. You have always been my identity, you always will be my identity. I surrender.


My Daughter
I have been bringing Lilly in to see Hannah at the hospital now. I am very concerned with her coping strategies. I understand that she is a young girl, however I am overwhelmed with how dysfunctional my daughter's view of her mother is right now. She has refused to look at her mother, to touch her, or to hug her. I am not a psychologist, but I know that this is unhealthy, and that I need to correct it immediately. 

What to do has been eluding me until I received direction from the Lord during church on how to help relieve Lilly's Emotional/Anger difficulties. God is good. He always will show us the way of wisdom if we will listen. So I will begin to implement the plan that He has given. Time with mommy will be the healing she needs.

 I demand in Jesus' name that Lilly will grow from this trial, just like every other member of our family. She is under my loving care, and I demand that the Lord have His perfect shalom in her soul.