Bonner's Journal- Day 26. God our source

February 9, Day 26

I am so excited, because God is our source. 

If I were to depend on my ability to put our life back together, we wouldn't make it. If I were to reach forward into our future and prepare the way, it wouldn't turn out right. If I were to pick the exact day that my wife is made whole, I would miss many opportunities for growth. I am glad that I cannot make it turn out.


But GOD is my source. I don't think that settled into your heart Bonner...the Almighty God Himself is who is taking care of you! He has your life already set up. He is not wringing His hands in heaven, worried about what He is going to do with you, your marriage and your family. No! He has your supply set aside. What ever the need is, He has promised that you can depend on Him. Trust Him.

Ok then. I will have complete dependence on you, Lord! 

Oh, how important it is to "cast our cares" on you. I obey your command. I refuse to care. I refuse to worry. I refuse to give one moment of my thought in anxious concern. I don't have a care in the world. Why? Because I gave them all to Jesus! I have literally unloaded all my frustrations onto Him. I have said, "Here you go God, you take them." I throw my worries at God. I am not holding one thought of fear. Not one doubt will be in my mind.

I think of my family as healthy and whole again, back at our river camp!

Much of my efforts today were spent on piecing our lives back together, and reassuring Hannah that she will be ok. I have spent most of my energies today calling/discussing the dynamics of getting the children back home and enrolled in school again, while calming Hannah's fears of being left behind. 

She has been very resistant to any change, and for good reason. If I were her I would not want to be left alone in the hospital either...let alone with her helpless condition. 

However, she is not fully aware of how disturbing it is for our children to be out of our normal routine. With time she will understand more. This is ok,  I expect her to remain focused on herself completely. I am able to carry the family until she can return. It is time though for a change, the kids cannot be uprooted from their life any longer.  I can see it in their faces. Even though my extended family has done an amazing job in caring for them, and I am so very grateful for their loving help, I need to return my children to their "normal" routine.

The doctors are saying that she will probably need another month of therapy, which will extend her hospital stay. Our lives must continue to move forward. Painful reality.